I was 24 when I truly fell in love for the first time. It
was butterflies and rainbows and storms and heartbreak. The whole yummy, messy
lot. I thought I’d found the man I was going to marry and in him, my white
picket fence future. HAHAHAHA WHERE WAS I LIVING???? MARS???!!!! Looking back,
I don’t know if I should cringe or look with fondness upon my youthful naivety.
I mean, he isn’t and wasn’t a bad guy but looking back, it is all too clear that
he DEFINITELY was not for me.
But why couldn’t I see that, when I was crying on the floor,
having gone through a whole roll of tissue, thinking that our breakup was the
worst mistake I’d ever made? Or a month later when he wouldn’t reply to my
messages, and it felt like someone had plunged a knife into my back? Or SIX MONTHS
later when it dawned on me how little he was actually invested in the
relationship and I wanted to curl into a ball and throw up all at the same
time?
It’s crazy how you can go from, ‘I really think I’m going to
die from this’ to ‘Why was this ever a big deal?’ Isn’t it. Our youth is filled with these life moments
where there never seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. And it makes
sense. We’ve never been through these tunnels before. We’ve been told there’s a
light somewhere at the end of the darkness but we’ve also been told Santa and
the Tooth Fairy exist by these same sources so excuse us for having our doubts.
But then you fail an important test, and your formal
education doesn’t end. And you trip and fall flat on your face with your skirt lifted
around your waist in front of all your workmates and someway somehow, not only
do you continue to get salary checks at the end of each month but believe it or
not, no one grins or chuckles when they see you anymore. And you have your
heart broken into a million pieces and a year later it magically (although let’s
be honest…PAINFULLY) puts itself right back together again, with nothing but a scar
to remember the heartbreak that was.
So as much as I know this is a lesson that everyone needs to
learn on their own, I’ll shout it out from the rooftops just in case someone is
listening; LIFE GOES ON. That famous saying ‘Time heals all wounds’ really does
have some truth to it. The whole ‘there’s a light at the end of the tunnel’…. might
not be complete baloney. And no, you absolutely don’t have to take my word for
it. If you’re in your 20-somethings, I have a weird feeling you’re in the
process of figuring it out for yourself. I know I am.
Until Next Time,
An Ever Healing Heart
